


Things Left Unsaid

by haeym



Category: DBSK | Tohoshinki | TVfXQ | TVXQ
Genre: Emotional Repression, First Kiss, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Getting Together, Homin Fic Exchange 2013, Humor, Implied First Time, M/M, Mutual Pining, Silly Yunho
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-12
Updated: 2013-03-12
Packaged: 2018-08-27 20:02:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,946
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8414830
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/haeym/pseuds/haeym
Summary: "But then, trembles of enthusiasm roll down his spine and he prepares himself to tell Changmin about the idea that just popped into his head.‘I'll be your date!’It sounds pretty ridiculous as the words tumble out of his mouth and Yunho wants to both slap and congratulate himself for coming up with such a great idea. Success U-know Yunho, a great success, the voice inside of his head screeches. The victorious smile dies on his lips as Changmin offers him an expression of pure disbelief."





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [aokis](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=aokis).



> For prompt: _"Yunho offers to spend Changmin's dateless birthday with him, for once. His intentions are innocent, but his heart tells a different story. Changmin wonders how long it's going to take for Yunho to get it, if they ever get there."_

The ground under his feet is sleeping, an icy blanket covering its surface and frost decorating its stiff form. It’s almost like his heels are trying to make a conversation with it, he thinks, as they march towards the management building, wind blowing in gusts around them. The man walking in front of him wraps his scarf tighter around that graceful neck of his, nimble fingers tugging and adjusting the fabric.

Yunho stares absentmindedly at Changmin's back as they walk.

The cold clings to him tighter and he hurries his steps, hopping the last few to match the younger's relentless pace. Yunho peers at Changmin’s face when he gets to his side, making sure a typical beaming smile plastered on his features. Changmin on the other hand looks determined, eyes glued to the door somewhere in the distance. His nose is poking out of the fluffy scarf, red from cold, and the tips of his lashes are white with frost.

Yunho thinks he looks cute, all puffed up with his thick winter coat and annoyed by the weather. He looks like a small bird trying to shield itself from the winter's temper. He suspects a part of Changmin's frustration is probably caused by him as well — that wouldn't be a surprise — but he's not going to admit anything.

A few meters left before the welcoming warmth of the S.M.Entertainment building makes Yunho sprint to the handle and yank the door open, holding it for Changmin to get in before him.

‘Right after you, darling.’

He makes a ridiculous bow, his body bend in two and his free hand crushed somewhere in between. Changmin looks like he is about to stop but instead he just makes a noise that sounds partly like a growl, partly like a snort. There is certainly hesitation in his movements, a tension pulling through his limbs. Thinking about it and how familiar it somehow seems, Yunho goes in after him, the door shutting sluggishly behind them.

He watches Changmin shed the unnecessary clothing, pulling the scarf free from its knot and stuffing his leather gloves in the pocket of his coat. He radiates the harsh weather of Seoul, just like Yunho, and the people walking past them are unconsciously sharpening their postures as the cool air greets them. Changmin keeps on walking towards the elevators, Yunho skittering behind him.

Like a gentleman he is, Yunho bows and says hello to everyone who crosses paths with them, his eyes glinting under the fluorescent lights. The carpet is soft under his shoes, the obtuse noise barely reaching his ears as he walks forward. Changmin doesn't really bother with the greetings but Yunho sees his body twitching ever so slightly when he mutters an occasional hello to the other employees.

Yunho won't deny the tenseness he sees in Changmin's form. His lines are stiff, not tender like when he's relaxed, not soft like when he's affectionate. It's not weariness, that much he can tell, it's more like frustration spiked up with a hint of desperation and need. A tad of annoyance to color the recipe.

The elevator chimes as it arrives to the lobby. Changmin steps in with Yunho in his wake.

They stand abreast, comfortable silence settling between them. It has never bothered Yunho, it's like having a conversation through silences of different weights. The doors close and Changmin presses the button with his slender fingers. Yunho keeps an eye on his movements, trying to read him better. He sees him withdraw his hand and lets it fall back to his side, shoulders slumping a little as his pose changes. Drawing his attention to the tips of his own shoes, Yunho lets his eyes close for a moment.

The elevator stops at the 8th floor and the couple gets out with strong strides.

It's a pretty casual meeting about their upcoming activities, resulting in the younger half of TVXQ slinking further down on his chair and Yunho feeling suddenly extremely uncomfortable. He wonders how long Changmin has been keeping up with his act – how long has he been like this before Yunho noticed it.

* * *

 

Yunho looks at Changmin's scrunched-up profile, feeling his left leg prickle after sitting on the sofa in a same position for too long. The TV is on but muted as Yunho studies him, all quiet but fierce. Changmin is like an explosive, ready to burst upon contact, Yunho thinks.

So he doesn't touch, doesn’t want to create a spark. Instead he asks because reading thoughts is suddenly far too hard.

‘Spill it out.’

There's too much unnecessary annoyance in his tone and he winces, mentally scolds himself and at least tries to look more cheerful. He notices how Changmin furrows his eyebrows a bit more, anger running through his figure until he looks calm again, calmer than before. Yunho braces himself, sinking his teeth into his lower lip and sucking it in. Defense mechanism they say, his friends say, his doctor says. Changmin doesn't say that. Changmin doesn’t say anything. Yunho feels how his thoughts are starting to get out of hand because of the younger’s silence. Just when he's about to continue his query with full force, the boy speaks. Opens those pouty lips and sighs before forcing the words out of his mouth.

‘We have the 18th off this year again.’

He's a little puzzled by Changmin's answer. The younger has an unreadable expression on his face, blank on the outside, hiding well the true meaning. Yunho feels slightly overwhelmed and adjusts the hem of his shirt before lacing his fingers together and continuing,

‘Carry on, I'm not really understanding why that's something to be anxious over?’

Changmin opens his mouth. The corner of his eye twitches. Yunho sinks into himself a little, heart skipping a beat and the residue of the nasty feeling making him swallow. Annoyance is now back and rather visible in Changmin’s sharp gaze.

‘Now that I'd actually have time to spend my birthday with a girlfriend, I don't have one!’

Yunho feels himself shrinking under the weight of Changmin's words, the rise of his voice leaving a ringing sound in the apartment. The fury quickly fades from his eyes though and Yunho allows himself to breathe out and take back the control.

But then, trembles of enthusiasm roll down his spine and he prepares himself to tell Changmin about the idea that just popped into his head.

‘I'll be your date!’

It sounds pretty ridiculous as the words tumble out of his mouth and Yunho wants to both slap and congratulate himself for coming up with such a great idea. Success U-know Yunho, a great success, the voice inside of his head screeches. The victorious smile dies on his lips as Changmin offers him an expression of pure disbelief.

But he accepts Yunho's offer, with a dumbfounded lilt in his voice and the leader feels a small flower blooming in his chest, making his whole body tingle instead of just the left leg that fell asleep earlier.

* * *

He has a few days before it's time to celebrate Changmin's birthday.

Initially, he had thought about having a picnic. Some homemade kimbap and perhaps sparkling wine – until he remembered that it is February and the average temperature outside is actually freezing and not pleasant – so he had to abandon those plans pretty early. Food is always a good choice though, he tells himself, and makes a reservation to one of Gangnam's finest restaurants. He tries not to sound too excited when he speaks on the phone but at the same time he will be severely disappointed if the butler doesn't hear his hammering heart.

The younger doesn't seem overly excited though and since that day at the management building, Yunho has been keeping an eye on him. Many of their co-workers and backup dancers ask if they should go out and eat together on Changmin's birthday, but he politely declines everyone’s offers. Often they proceed to tease Changmin afterwards, asking who is the lucky lady but every time Changmin just shakes his head, flustered as far as Yunho can tell, and walks away.

One time Yunho catches him gazing back.

Changmin looks like Yunho has caught him red-handed and he hurries to conceal his face, turning it to the side and taking a few steps to move away. He stares after Changmin, the younger’s actions causing worry to surface in Yunho's thoughts and uneasiness in his actions.

Determination pours into him. He's going to make this the best birthday Changmin has ever had and he is going to be the best date Changmin has ever had.

* * *

When the morning of the 18th dawns, Yunho is certain that there is no way that he could mess this up. Despite being nervous as hell, he had a nice five hours of sleep. That is most likely not enough to take away the bags under his eyes so he hopes can do his best to not look too horrible when it’s time for them to leave their apartment.

He lays in his bed, hugging his pillow loosely as he goes through today's plan in his head. The alarm clock on the nightstand blinks at him, green glow telling him it's time to get up, the 05:34 getting on his nerves with constant flashing. He groans and clasps a hand over his mouth, remembering he shouldn't wake up the younger just yet.

He slips quietly into his pajama pants and pulls on a worn cotton shirt before leaving his room. Changmin's door is shut and Yunho pauses briefly in front of it. The cold floor makes his feet clammy and he tries to overcome the urge to slip into the room and snuggle against warm and sleepy Changmin.

He winces when the mental images of Changmin smacking him and yelling at him fill his mind and he continues his journey to the kitchen.

It's a miracle but he manages to make Changmin a cup of coffee, prepare some toasts and not burn the eggs. He spreads jam on the other slice and slides the fried egg on top another before placing them on a plate. He briefly wondered if he should have made Changmin some rice porridge but as confident as he is in his own cooking skills, the kitchen would have been a mess afterwards, and he doesn’t have the time clean up afterwards. He stuffs two pieces of slightly burnt toast into his mouth while producing a glass from the cupboards and filling it with fresh water from the purifier.

With a tray in his hands he sneaks into Changmin’s room. The air inside is thick with the smell sleep and musk, the curtains blocking the hesitant rays of sun already in the horizon. Changmin is sleeping on his side, hugging a pillow to his chest and the thick blanket is wrapped around his whole body, only a tuft of curly hair showing. Yunho coos silently at the sight and places the tray carefully on the nightstand. He doesn't bother with turning on the lights just yet and enjoys the dim room. It feels safe.

He leans over the sleeping form, bringing his lips close to Changmin's ear. Suddenly it's all too exciting. He pauses, wills himself to calm down a little and whispers,

‘Wake up, sunshine.’

As expected, Changmin tries to smack him. First one is always a right, which Yunho evades gracefully, and the second one is always a left. He dodges it, too, and the younger just settles to adjusting his pillow and falling back into the sweet slumber. Yunho beams at him, as if it would help him to wake Changmin up, and then proceeds to plant a wet kiss on Changmin’s cheek.

Changmin jolts awake violently, body springing up from the bed into a sitting position. He yanks the blanket around his body before he shoots Yunho an angry look.

‘Why did you do that?!’ he screeches.

‘What, I've kissed you before, it's not a big deal.’

‘...It's been 4 years since you last kissed me, hyung.’

‘You've been counting?’

‘No,’ Changmin spits out faster than necessary.

Yunho is starting to feel flustered so he decides to turn Changmin’s attention to the tray on the nightstand. ‘Anyways, I made you breakfast.’

In the hopes of food cheering Changmin up, he waves his hand towards the tray. Changmin seems to look happier right away, face lit up with some unknown emotion. Yunho looks at Changmin with a smile on his face. Everything is okay now, he thinks. He walks to the window and pulls the curtains aside, letting the light cascade into the bedroom.

He turns back to Changmin who's munching on his food. Changmin lifts his head to meet Yunho’s eyes and give him a coy smile. Yunho smiles back at him, a warm feeling filling him, and walks back to the bed to sit on the edge. It squeaks under his weight and he wishes Changmin a happy birthday.

* * *

Later on they start to get ready for the dinner.

Yunho takes a quick shower, singing while doing so to get rid of his nervousness. He lets his hair dry while he dresses up, pulling on a pair of snug-fitting jeans and taking a moment to pick a nice and cozy woolen sweater. He ends up wearing the gray ripped one, surely not too warm for the restaurant. Not really bothering to style his hair in any particular way, he just combs through it and smooths it down a little with his fingers.

The man in the mirror stares back at him, looking a bit timid. Yunho gives himself a thumbs up.

Changmin has taken his shower and gone back to his room when Yunho emerges from his room. He sits on the living room couch and turns on the TV. Nothing interesting is on, so he ends up watching a rerun of some pointless drama which he has no idea about. The main character of it seems to be a clumsy young man who tries to please his maybe a bit too fussy of a girlfriend.

The door clicks open and Changmin steps out. He looks slightly dazzled as he peers at Yunho who seems be equally dazzled. Changmin is dressed in dark blue skinny jeans and he's wearing pointy black shoes, leather shining dimly in the light of the room. He's wearing a casual, dark carmine t-shirt under a black blazer adorned with red details and his hair is swept up.

He looks at Yunho expectantly, corners of mouth twitching. Yunho wants to smack himself.

‘Just uh, you look gorgeous, wait a sec and I'll change into something more suitable.’

He gets up from the sofa in a millisecond and almost trips on the carpet as he runs back to his room. He manages to pull out a casual black shirt from the closet and throw on a dark plum blazer until it's time for them to go.

* * *

‘What do you mean there's no reservation under Jung Yunho's name for today?’ Yunho asks, shocked.

‘Uh, let me check again, sir.’

The waiter looks panicky under Yunho's piercing gaze but continues with going through the list again. Changmin is hiding behind Yunho and he can feel the younger’s presence without glancing back. Yunho can also feel Changmin’s getting embarrassed with all the attention Yunho is starting to draw to them.

‘Ohh, maybe, wait – look for Shim Changmin? Maybe I reserved it under Changdola's name!’

There’s a sound of Changmin hiding his face with his palm behind him and the waiter goes through the list again, desperately trying to find something that is not there. Yunho bites his lip, feeling the soft flesh tinge between his teeth. Suddenly Changmin takes a hold of his sleeve, drawing Yunho’s attention from the waiter to him.

‘It's okay, hyung. Let's just leave’, he says, looking at Yunho with a disappointed face, eyebrows knitting together. He has been biting his lips, Yunho realizes, the slight reddening and swell obvious. He watches how Changmin's eyes search his in the darkening night.

‘Ah, sir, please wait, I think I found your reservation!’ the waiter exclaims.

Both men twirl around to look at the waiter with the list in his hands. The man looks as panicky as before, especially now that there are two pairs of eyes expectantly looking at him.

‘There's just one problem, sir – the reservation is for tomorrow.’

Changmin drops his head and groans, Yunho smacks his forehead with the heel of his palm.

* * *

They sit.

The ahjumma in the distance is huffing and puffing around the grill. Changmin is glaring at Yunho, hands and mouth busy devouring a cooked fish. There's an opened bottle of soju between them, Changmin having emptied a good third of it while Yunho hasn't even touched his shot glass. Instead he sits, hands buried in the pockets of his woolen coat as Changmin takes a fourth helping of the fish.

Yunho looks at him, a broken expression on his face. You can have my chicken gizzards, his eyes say, and Changmin pulls the plate to his side. He picks up one, digits shiny with grease, and he reaches over the table to poke it against Yunho's lips. Yunho is surprised by the gesture but opens his mouth and lets Changmin feed him. He closes his lips around his fingers.

He looks up to Changmin, looks at how his eyes widen a little and how his eyebrows shoot up. Yunho dares to lick his fingers, gently, hesitantly at first, until the younger draws them away.

‘Stop it, hyung. Let's just go tomorrow, it's not a big deal. Stuff like that happens. Tomorrow is no different from today after all, it’s just a day.’

He gulps down his shot of soju and pours some more. Yunho allows him and sighs. He notes how Changmin didn’t tell him to stop with the licking but to stop with the pity party.

‘I was supposed to be the perfect date and now I have ruined everything,’ Yunho murmurs.

Changmin pauses with the gizzards and looks at Yunho. He tries hard to keep his face judging and serious, but his mask starts to crack and he bursts out laughing, uninhibited and wonderful. Yunho finds it extremely hard to pout effectively when the boy in front of him shows such pure joy so he joins him, laughs until he has tears in his eyes and his stomach hurts. When they regain their composure, Yunho drinks down his shot.

‘Besides, I haven't been complaining, have I? This might not be the finest restaurant in Seoul but the food is damn good,’ Changmin announces.

He smiles at Changmin's words, they feel warm and genuine. Yunho wants to touch them, wondering if they would feel soft and fluffy in his hands.

They eat the rest of their food in a good-natured silence, enjoying each other's presence. Yunho keeps smiling at Changmin unable to erase the expression from his face and the younger answers him with mirth in his eyes. Whenever Yunho is looking too silly, Changmin's eyes crinkle and he tries to conceal his giggles with badly faked coughs. It makes Yunho smile even more.

* * *

They step out of the stall and start their trip towards home. After a few meters, a tug on Yunho's sleeve makes him to stop and turn around.

Changmin is looking at him with a stern expression and eyes fierce, making Yunho not able to read what emotions he is hiding underneath. Breath steams out of his mouth, black sky swallowing it eagerly. Yunho stands still, afraid to move, afraid to breathe until the younger opens his mouth to speak, everything inside him perfectly shielded from Yunho.

‘Sometimes you can be so unbelievably dumb, hyung.’

Changmin’s words make his jaw slack, as if something is trying to slowly crawl out of his mouth – but only a silence follows. Not quite grasping the hidden meaning of Changmin's words, Yunho tries to think what he means. Nothing comes. Somewhere in his head a voice speaks up, murmurs of a possibility. Yunho doesn't understand what it is trying to say so both it and Changmin leave him puzzled.

Yunho is about ask Changmin for a clarification but the burn in his eyes has faded and all that is left is a mellow ardor if anything. He opens his mouth again, white breath mingling with Changmin's until they dissolve into the sky again. Yunho closes his mouth. Changmin turns his back at him in an unnecessary harsh manner.

‘Just– Nothing.’

Yunho watches him stuff his hands cold from the Seoul's breeze into the pockets of his coat and slowly sinking back into his defense mode. But this time Yunho acts, fully on impulse, frenzied by some unknown force. He doesn't move his legs, only reaches with his hand to turn Changmin back to him, fingers circling around his arm to pull him. He takes a step closer and kisses Changmin, wide-eyed, square on the mouth.

It's an awkward staring competition for a second before Changmin succumbs, eyes closing and Yunho wonders how his lashes can tremble so prettily. Changmin is not still: he responds, very hesitantly at first, lips burning under Yunho's touch. Sudden flow of emotions takes Yunho and makes him close his eyes as well, to inhale Changmin's scent, so familiar but presented in such a different way.

They break, abruptly, Yunho noticing his hand still gripping into Changmin's bicep, holding him as if he was afraid of Changmin disappearing like the steam of his breath.

‘Let's go home,’ Yunho offers, smiling gingerly.

* * *

He feels how Changmin climbs on top of him, bedsheets twisting around their bodies. His heart hammers against his ribcage, ready to be ripped out and devoured. He can't help but feel fragile, a flurry of emotions surging inside him as he wonders if this is a mistake. If he should have hidden that something making his heart race like this better, deeper, as it now seems to surface again.

Changmin is still tense, but in a more nervous way than before, and he presses his face into the crook of Yunho's neck, his breath soothing on Yunho’s skin.

His arms curl around Yunho. The sudden closeness is overwhelming but Yunho enjoys it to fullest, warmth spreading inside him and every small movement made by Changmin noted. Carefully, the younger lifts his head, eyes unfocused in the darkness and body ready to surrender to slumber. But not yet. Yunho feels Changmin’s breath dance along the slope of his nose, to tickle his eyebrows, before he hears Changmin speak in a whispery tone, as feisty as always.

‘How long is it still going to take?’

Expectation settles in after his words. Yunho feels it aching in his bones and flowing in his veins.

A gentle noise escapes his plump lips. A peck is landed on those same lips, the brief contact pulling him out from the depths of the awaiting slumber. The kiss is over faster than it should, Yunho thinks, and he spins them around. Changmin emits a surprised noise when Yunho presses him into the mattress.

Yunho sees fierce affection burning in Changmin's eyes this time. His lips are parted gently, warm from the kiss earlier, and he is seeking for something he knows Yunho has for him. And Yunho knows it, he knows from the way those brown eyes shine at him that he has it, has had it for a long, long time. He just never surrendered to it like this before.

The mattress creaks under their weight and Yunho proceeds to steal Changmin's breath again and again.

**Author's Note:**

> This fic was originally posted on 12/3/2013 on Livejournal.  
> This version of it has been edited for AO3 in 2016.


End file.
